My reading chair sits in the far right corner of my room, aligned with the window on the front of my house. I’ve covered this chair in pillows, blankets, and far too many philosophical debates. As a result of such, I contemplate and look outside in pursuit of answers. Most of my questions only get answered by: someone taking in their trash cans, mowing their lawn, or the same treeline that I’ve watched for ten years. All of which surround my stoplight. My stoplight has witnessed the highs and lows of throwing my books across the room, silently screaming into the abyss, reenacting dialogue, and countless tears shed. However, I’ve only seen my stoplight in three different lights.
Green:
Green equals go, or in my case to “just keep moving forward.” I find frequently, while reading “classics,” that I will never be more creative than an alcoholic man in the 1920’s. In spite of this hard truth, I have attempted tirelessly to out-imagine some of the “greats.” I fall short every time. But, usually through some horrible curse, my new attempts beat out my old ones. And while I don’t find myself being one of the “greats” too soon, I think it’s important to continue. To keep moving forward, to continue trying, to remember your mistakes and to rewrite the endings better than the last. That’s the point of a green light: giving myself the permission to move forward for the better.
Yellow:
I probably shouldn’t admit this but, at heart, I am no better than a college frat boy who discovered the key to motivation through a self-help book. I know, I know… I didn’t see it coming either. But I will say I’ve adopted many ideologies from this genre. My favorite to be: taking every opportunity as it comes. Sometimes when I’m driving and the light turns yellow and I’m too close to stop, but too far to go through, I hesitate for a moment, then I punch the gas pedal. I like to think of taking every opportunity that comes my way very similar to that. Most times when I hesitate about an opportunity I think of the consequences, and all the “what ifs?” But, “what ifs” are “what ifs” and well… a “what if” doesn’t seem like it would get me to the next green light so, in the meantime: I will punch gas when I hesitate and get through… at least till the next yellow light.
Red
My reading chair, like I’ve said, has seen the best and the worst of me. I would say more good than bad, but I’d be lying. Usually, I’ll finish a long series of novels in the middle of the night, mostly because I can’t seem to stop myself and go to bed at a normal time. In the middle of the night when I’ve finished the stories of the characters I’ve laughed with, and faced their hardships as my own, without a doubt I will become somber of our goodbye. I will look for answers outside. The red light will be waiting for me. Because nobody is out on the roads at three in the morning, the light will undoubtedly be red. So when I seek more, the red light reminds me to stop. To relish in the good, and face the epilogue with a smile, rather than a frown.
The green chair in the upper right corner of my room has given me the opportunity to sit and lay while I face my ups and downs, and figure out that the stoplight I’ve been staring at for the past ten years is also staring at me waiting. So in the middle of the night, when me and my stoplight stare at each other through my window, I will stop and remind myself of the blessings I have. And when I hesitate through the yellow light, I will hit the gas and remember to just keep moving forward.
