It’s that time of year again, the time for couples and romance- something I clearly don’t have a lot of. But what I lack in boyfriends, I make up for in crushes. So in honor of my favorite romcom, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, and in solidarity for all those who crush from afar, I’ve decided to expose myself in this very dramatic fashion. Before we begin the embarrassment, I would like to say that clearly I don’t care about my own privacy, but if you think you know who I’m talking about, I would ask that you respect theirs. Thank you.
Hall Pass-
Hall Pass is arguably the most important crush on the list because he’s the longest running. I actually had to change his nickname for print because so many people know about him (friends, I beg your silence). Hall Pass is given this name because I literally altered the route I went to class one year in order to see him leave physics. Don’t worry, I know it’s pathetic. Hall Pass and I never talked much, but one of the few times we did remains the most humbling interaction I’ve ever had. Let me set the scene. It’s a Friday night football game, and by some stroke of luck I ended up standing next to Hall Pass. We were talking (!!!). He knew my name (!!!). And then, much to my surprise, he asked me if I would like to walk with him to the concession stand. Now, my brain is queuing up wedding bells, but instead of being a normal, pulled together person, I hit him with a “why would I want to go anywhere with you?” Y’all. At this point I had been crushing on him for two years and that’s the best I could come up with. I still think about this interaction and cringe. Needless to say, he left for the concession stand without me and we never had a moment like that ever again. Despite the romantic setback, I crushed on him from afar until he graduated. Now, a good chunk of my class and I mourn his absence. We miss you, Hall Pass.
Flannel-
Now Flannel was the closest I’ve ever been to getting a boyfriend, which I still don’t really know if it’s a red or green flag. The nickname “Flannel” is taken from his favorite article of clothing, or at least, what I assume is his favorite. I think we’re still friends, but honestly it’s hard to tell on any given day. Flannel was a super nice boy, a true gentleman, but I just don’t think we were actually compatible as people. We are both perfectionists, and we both don’t communicate well. Plus, and I’ve never actually told him this, my one cousin thought that he was a relative from my dad’s side of the family (which is, as someone who is not a fan of incest, just kind of gross). Throw in my issues with commitment and the fact that both of our crushes on eachother peaked at opposite times, and you have a situation where nothing ended up happening. That being said, he’s one of the best people I know. If you’re a lady reading this and are interested in Flannel, or have ever even thought about dating Flannel, I would 100% recommend it. #JusticeForFlannel
[REDACTED] –
This one is my most embarrassing, because this is the only crush I had while he was actively in a relationship. Before y’all cancel me, I did nothing to break them up even when the opportunity presented itself, so yeah, I have morals. However, because of the nature of the crush, I couldn’t even tell my friends, which is very hard for someone who overshares constantly. Plus, I also know that half of my friends had a crush on him at one point, which is so not awkward at all. [REDACTED] was (and is) an angel on earth, and the conversations we had were the easiest. I mean, he has a good relationship with his parents, asks questions, is funny, and isn’t a dry texter. What more could you ask for? Really, the only sad thing about him is that I’m not his type (which might work out for you if [REDACTED] sounds like the kind of boy you’d want to date). Thankfully, I’ve mostly moved past this stage of my life, and even if I hadn’t, I’m only here for five more months.
So here we are, three crushes down out of many. Whether you’re happily coupled off or pining from a distance, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I regret writing it.
